I just wanted to make a quick update on what’s going on in my life right now. Enjoy!
It’s been almost a week since my boyfriend broke up with me and about 3 days where we had no contact at all. In the beginning, it wasn’t too difficult; I did not cry or anything crazy. Right now, though, I feel super down that you guys have no idea. I miss him so much and I want to just text him so desperately even though I know that’s a horrible idea. My goal is to leave him behind and pretend like we never happened and that I don’t even know him. I know that texting him wouldn’t help at all. Three days….I can do it! Wait….. I can’t. I miss him so much and you know what the worst part is? The fact is that he’s already moved on and does not miss me one bit! It’s so frustrating and it makes me want to cry and die. All the other times we’ve broken up, he’s been sad and expressed his sadness openly, but this time, he’s actually happy and not even thinking about me. It’s so hard to accept the fact that we were together for over a year and he’s not even thinking about me. It makes me feel like shit and worthless.
I’m not even worthy of a thought. No one misses me. No one loves me. So what does my worthless fatass do? I binge, of course. I hate myself. I hate my life. I hate him. But more importantly, I hate myself for trusting him, believing him, and letting him have such an important part in my life when he didn’t deserve it.
I’m going through such a hard time right now and I have no friends to turn to. I’m all alone. Like it’s so easy for me to die right now. I don’t think anyone would notice.
On another note, my sister told my parents that she got a tattoo (behind their back, she’s only 16) and my mom almost killed her and is extremely disappointed in her. It was horrible. Let’s just say that we nearly all died. Oh, and my sister and
Oh, and my sister and mother leave to Mexico in like 2 days for 3 weeks. This means all be alone in the house meanwhile my dad goes to work. Which would have been awesome if I had a friends or my boyfriend. Last year, we hung out a lot when they left. Goddamn, why does everything remind me of him? I gave him such a big chunk of me and I lost myself.
Sorry for the major depression,