I fucked up- major depression

Hey guys,

Here is a quick life update.

So, I relapsed. I texted my ex. Needless to say, that was a big mistake.

He told me that he cheated on me with “tons of his female friends that needed to have sex with any guy after a breakup.” Then, he told me to leave him alone.

I’m an idiot. I feel so stupid. So used. So betrayed. So worthless. So disgusting.

This literally send me into a binge and purge session and some major cutting.

I texted some friends but (not suprisingly) no one want to text me back.

I don’t have much to say loves. The less I say….somehow the better you understand.

I’m extremely depressed. Never felt this kind of pain before; never in my life.

I just want it all to end. I want the pain to go away. I want my life to end.

I’m done.

Goodnight loves and please take care as I love you all so much,



11 thoughts on “I fucked up- major depression

  1. Don’t beat yourself up just because of a mistake you’ve made. If we didn’t make mistakes, we would never learn anything. I’ve gone back to my ex several times, each time I knew better but I couldn’t let go. Once I finally got away, I was relieved and my life did a 180. It was one of the best things I ever did. Don’t make life decisions because of people. They have no right to control your emotions and you shouldn’t let them. Stay strong and we love you too!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Oh Gosh, I understand completely how you feel about not being able to let go, that’s how I feel. I can’t just “let go.” He was my first boyfriend at 18, the first guys I kissed, the first guy I ever loved. He told me he’d never hurt me, that he loved me and that he wanted a future with me. I believed him because he’s been cheated on so, I thought he’d never cheat on me or hurt me :(. It’s hard right now. Thank you so much for all your advice 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Of course it’ll be tough. But you have to remember he hurt you and you don’t want that. There’s a right guy out there for you. Just don’t get caught up with searching for love that you forget to accomplish your goals. You come first!

        Liked by 1 person

  2. It’s okay. Don’t let this be your downfall. Guys aren’t worth it if they’re going to treat you like crap. Whenever you break up with someone there’s this theory that eventually you’re going to get back together with them. Stay Strong and make him ever regret that you guys broke up! Also side note, usually when I’m depressed I tend to crave chocolate. I have a 25 calorie chocolate recipe I make for when I’m depressed and when I’m on my period haha. I love you and stay strong!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. OMG Yes, can I get that recipe? lol. You know what the sad part it? That I knew that. I was never going to be one of those girls but I ended up being that girl. It’s hard to imagine that two years ago I was smart enough to know that most guys are jerks, but he caught me off guard 😦 And aww, I love you too dear ❤ Thank you! 🙂


      1. Yeah haha it’s under the food part of my website, I believe it’s the second recipe? It makes 8 servings but I usually cut the recipe in half and get 4 servings, 25 calories each, that way if I binge, I only eat 100 calories 🙂 plus it makes a lot so one serving usually fills me up. I’m thinking about writing s blog post the next time I make it lol.

        Liked by 1 person

  3. Oh no! I’m sorry, that’s awful. You’re better than him and stronger than he is. What he did is petty and mean, and you don’t deserve that kind of treatment. I’m so sorry, and I’m sorry you have to go through that.

    Please stay strong, I know it’s hard, but if you need anything, I’m here. Your followers are here too.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Honestly, you guys are amazing. I love that I can come here and you guys will be so supportive of me. I can never repay any of that. It’s hard because I feel like an idiot for wanting him :(. I really want the pain to end soon. I’m trying as hard as I can to make it! Thank you so much, I feel so loved 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

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