Late night rant – I am so fucking tired of this!

Hey loves,

I have a very late night rant, I have to get of my shoulders. I want to apologize for anything rude and ofensive, beforehand.

So, before I went to bed I saw my friends make a long post about love (meet him through ex/university friend). Basically, the post said something along the lines that true love is amazing and love is a powerful force that kind of thing. I liked the post and commented saying that I didn’t believe in true love and that people always hurt you. He was really polite about it and said that’s because you’ve been hurt but it does exists. Then, I told him that even though I don’t believe in love, his post was lovely. Obviously these are just short explanations of the interaction.

So, I wake up right now to go to the bathroom and I see that someone else commented on the post. Another university friend/ex friend and this guy literally just comments some rude stuff of course, relating to my ex. Making me sound like a bad person and defending him. I know exactly what he’s talking about too. Oh and of course, he ends with “no hate.”

Ummm. Yes, I took your comment as hate.

I’m sick and tired of this bullshit. 

You don’t know what happened between us asshole so I’m going to politely ask you to fuck off. This same guy had already done stuff in FB in the past so this pissed me off even more.

Seriously, if you have nothing nice to say then leave me alone. 

Yeah, you want to set me out like the bad guy and that, okay. But where were you when my ex:

Pushed me into the wall

When he yelled me in the dinner 

When he cheated on me 

When he insulted me 

When he said he wished he had never dated me 

When he blocked my number instead of giving me an explanation of why he cheated 

When I had to BEG him to come visit me or call me 

When he humiliated me in class 

When he got super jealous and got crazy 

When he broke my heart

I can go on and on 

That hurt me.

I am so sick and tired of this bullshit. Making me feel bad. It makes me feel like it was all my fault. It makes me feel like I deserved everything he did to me. It makes me want to breakdown in tears.

I’m so sick and tired of this. 

If you don’t want to be friend then okay don’t. But leave me the fuck alone please. Just delete me. 

I hate the fact that I’m going to have to see your face Monday. If I wasn’t sure if I wanted to sit with my ex’s friends, where I’ve sat and hanged out formthenlast two years now I’m fucking sure I want to sit and get away from everyone there as far as possible.

I’d much rather be alone than have to deal with that.  

I hate my ex for showing me how to use social media. Before him, I never used it. 

I’m sorry for the rant but I just had to go somewhere and vent because this is seriously so hurtful and I’m beyond annoyed. I don’t want anything to do with my “friends” at university. Fuck, at least being a loner is completely predictable. With “friends” you never know how they really feel about you.

I just want to disappear. I want it all to end. Someone please take me away, I’m not strong enough to deal with this. 

Liz. 

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