I wanted to make a quick post before heading off to bed.
Today, I’m not feeling good. I’m emotionally drained.
I keep thinking about how hard it’ll be move on from my last relationship now that school is going to start. I keep thinks of the horror that I am not prepared for. It was easy dealing with this over summer break but now my shield has been taking down. Now I’m going to be visible again. I’ll have to deal with people.
I look back to when I first started college. I felt a mixture of excitement and fear. I look back in these two years and think “wow” I was quite happy. I made friends and have a support system.
Now everything will change. It’s quite funny.
It’s funny how just a year and a half ago everyone wanted to be my friend, everyone wanted to talk to me, I was a much more social person. Back when I was healthy, happy, social, and with my ex everyone loved me.
Funny how now that I’m sick, depressed, and lonely now no one is here. All those people have turned their backs against me.
I’m scared about Monday. I can feel it sneaking up on me and I don’t know what to do. I can feel it right under my chin and there is nothing I can do.
It’s funny how my future is more unpredictable now then it was when I first started college.
I’m not strong enough to deal with all this stress and you can tell on my body. I’m having some severe pain that is not going away! I’ve taking pain killers and nothing.
It’s funny how everything changes.
The one thing in life that is certain is that everything will change. The same way people came into your life to love you at your best, they will leave you when you’re at your worst.