First Day Of School – I’m trying

Hey loves,

Today was my first day back at school. It all went okay.

In terms of what I ate today: coffee and yogurt (100), an apple (80), a salad (50), and I’m not planning on eating anything more because I’m going to be working on my homework (yup, on the first day!)

I only had two classes today and they seem pretty easy. I’m not worried about the classes. I’ve had tougher!

The one thing that put some strain on me today was coming face to face to my ex. I was able to avoid him when I first got there because I don’t start till very very late and I have back to back classes and he has class before mine so, I won’t run into him. And, oh, after that I have class so no bumping into each other.

Unfortunately, being in the same major means I have to see him for two more years. He was in my major class and he’s probably going to be in my other major class tomorrow.

It was so hard seeing him. He sat away from me (obviously). The most annoying part of that was the fact that our friend walked in and guess what? he sat with him!

After class, I went to eat my lunch and he was of course, where all our friends hang out so I had to sit away all by myself and no one came to me. None of my friends sat next to me. They went with him. I wanted to cry but fortunately, I didn’t! I was not going to give him the benefit of seeing me cry.

My ex told me that I couldn’t make it on without him and that I needed him and his friends.

You know what? I can do it without you. Yes, it’s going to be hard as hell but I can live without you and your friends. Right now, it’s just the beginning so of course, I’m lonely but I can get other friends! I will make other friends that will stick with me through my good times and my bad times and won’t abandon me.

Just one friend stuck around. He and I talked and I let out all my emotions and he was really helpful!

My ex is a coward! He doesn’t want to see me or be around me but he’s not the one having to leave our friends and hangout spot. He knows it’s hard so he left me with the burden, thinking that I can’t do it. Well honey, I can do it!

I’m going to go out there and start talking to other guys and other people! In a few months, I will be just fine and I won’t even be thinking about the guy who broke up with me over an angry text, cheated on me, was emotionally abusive, immature, and who hurt me.

Oh, today was pretty awesome because in 3 months I haven’t done my makeup or hair. I’ve been going out in a messy bun and sweatpants and shorts. I’ve literally been too depressed to make myself look presentable. For the first time in 3 months, I actually looked decent enough to go outside! This literally deserves an award lol! I actually put some effort today. Did my hair, had my sister do my makeup, and I even painted my nails. Oh, and I didn’t wear sweatpants today! This is an improvement, right? I’m trying!

I never take pictures of myself but this deserves a quick selfie!

 

Love,

Liz.