Well, I Just told my mother that I have to go away. I can’t be here anymore. I want to take the semester off and leave somewhere out of here. I have to get away from this life. I can’t deal with this anymore. I know how much I can take and I know I can’t take this anymore.
God knows I tried but I can’t anymore.
I know it’s stupid to leave school for a semester, I know. I am a straight A student and school is my passion. So for me to say that, is a big thing. However, I know what I need at this moment and I know it’s to get away from it all.
If I stay, I know I won’t make it. This depression will be the end of me. I like school and I want to graduate but I also want to get better. I want to have a chance of making it. Right now, my mental health and well-being is more important than school or money. It’s taking me a whole lot to say this.
My mother, of course, reacted angerly. I don’t blame her. I don’t need my parent’s approval, I need their understanding. My family and friends and you guys need to understand why I’m doing this.
I know that my parents will be disappointed because I was the “good” child. The one that never got in trouble, the one that got straight As, the one that spent her entire day studying, etc. Now, they know that I have been severely depressed for months. I guess you can even say my entire life. I don’t go out. I don’t have friends. I don’t have anything. Which has always alerted my parents because I wasn’t “normal.” But now, the depression has gotten worse. All I do is sleep, sometimes I don’t even want to blog. I feel like this is only contributing to my back pain and making it worse.
Right now, I hate my life. I need to get myself together.
Even if it’s not the “right” thing to do, please understand.
I love you all.