I’m Confused

Hey loves,

I just wanted to make a quick post before I go to school about important things that have been happening in my life.

I’m so confused.

My ex-boyfriend apologized me and we’ve been talking. We’ve been having some emotional conversations and what we miss about each other. I’m not going to lie, no matter how much pain he put me through, I still love him so much. I don’t want to. I guess it’s true that you can’t choose who you fall in love with. Love also hurts. I wish someone had told me this a long time ago. But I can’t keep living in the past, I have to look at the future.

I don’t know what to do. I’m so confused on what I want, what’s best for me, and what is the ‘right’ thing to do in my situation.

One thing I do know is that I’m happy that he has a new job and is making money, is focused on school, and has lost 20 pounds already! Best wishes to him. I think he hides his emotions deep inside but I do think he cares. He’s not the best, but who is? I’ve made mistakes too.

That’s just one thing on my mind.

My aunt is still struggling with breast cancer. After her first treatment (chemo and operations), the cancer still remains. Her body is so weak….I don’t know if she’s going to make it through a second treatment. I’m praying for her. That’s all I’ve been doing.

It’s so hard and sad. My grandmother died of cancer.

I pretend that if maybe I don’t think about it and I think about something else, it’ll go away. But I know it won’t.

Today, I’m going to spend my entire day at school because I have a HUGE assignment due for one of my classes that I can only complete on my school’s computers. It’ll take at least a couple of hours. Since I’m new at this, It’ll take me even longer. But I guess I don’t mind, anything to get out of here and distract me from my problems.



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