I just wanted to make a quick update before I went to bed. Enjoy!
Firstly, I want to say that I love some these blogs on here. You guys are amazing and I am honored that I can read about your life and know that I am not alone with all my problems. I honestly love this community so much. I just wanted you guys to check out two of the blogs I’ve really been enjoying lately!
The Proana Life – A Proana Blog Of My Personal Journey: https://mylittleproanajourney.wordpress.com/
Lucie’s blog is pretty awesome. She gives awesome weight loss tips and she has gone through an incredible weight loss journey. Huge admirer here!
My Personal Struggles: Me and my mental health: https://mypersonalstrugglesblog.wordpress.com/
R’s blog is extremely relatable. She keeps it real! You really get to know her struggles and can relate to everything she says. I love this level of connection I feel with her blog!
Now, my week hasn’t been great at all. I have really been reflecting on my life and I keep asking myself:
What the hell am I even doing with my life? The answer to that question is that I really have no clue.
I feel like everything has been going downhill. It’s hard to see my life just fly by me and I have no courage or motivation to do anything about it. I can’t keep a man, I can’t keep good grades, I can’t get out of this depression hole, I can’t even stick to a diet. I just can’t do anything at this point, and I’m running out of time. I don’t have time to decide what to do with myself. I’ve had my whole life and I’ve done absolutely nothing. I hate this feeling of failure.
Anyways, school has really been stressing me out. I had a terrible group experience earlier this week. One of my group members was not cooperating and got mad during our session. He literally looked like he wanted to punch someone in the face. Our professor had to escort him to the chair of the department. It was pretty scary. I hate that group. I hate group work period. I hate being stuck with people I either don’t like or don’t do anything. I like working by myself and not have to deal with any drama. On top of this, I’ve had way too much school work. I’ve been so busy with school work that I haven’t had time to blog or do anything else. I’m probably going to spend my entire weekend doing school work. Oh, not to mention I’ve been having tech problems and other school/class problems. I really hate school sometimes.
I have also been really missing my ex lately. I hate the fact that this guy can just block me and just avoid me and move on so easily. He literally doesn’t care at all. He’s so heartless, it’s unbelievable. He can’t even see me in the hallways because he turns the other way. I don’t understand what I did wrong? He hates me when he’s the one who hurt me and left me for another girl. He played with my emotions and used me for his own pleasure. It sucks, I feel stupid. I’ll never get closure from that situation. I regret dating him and even meeting him so much. I regret investing so much time in him. I wish I had never met him. I didn’t deserve this. Yeah, I’ve made mistakes but Jesus Christ I’ve never done anything so horrible to deserve this type of pain.
I also haven’t been keeping up with my diet. I’m terrified of weighing myself because I have no idea what the scale will even say. I feel so useless. I can’t even stick to a diet.
I really need to figure out my life, at this point.
Hopefully, I have more time to blog and read all your blogs. Thanks everyone ❤
Goodnight and stay strong!