I Finally Took the First Step

Hey loves,

I just wanted to talk about my day and (finally) give a daily meal plan. Enjoy!

Food Journal:

  • Breakfast: Light & Fit Greek yogurt with coffee w/skim milk + Splenda (100)
  • Lunch: Salad with shredded carrots, tuna w/light mayo + Diet Coke (86)
  • Dinner: Flounder fillet with mixed veggies with side salad (115)
  • Snacks: Water, one Fuji Apple, one glass of skim milk (216)

Total====== 516 calories, 56 grams of protein, 59 grams of carbs, 4 grams of fat

Pretty awesome! I’m glad that I’m getting back on track. I’m not ready to weigh myself yet, though. I’m way too afraid for that right now.

Today was a pretty uneventful day. I just went to class and that’s really about all I did. Thank God, considering that this entire week has been extremely stressful. I’ve had so much homework and stress and I really need a good night’s rest. Finally getting the chance to do that, YAY!

Today was also my first official appointment with my counselor. She seems like a nice woman. We just talked about what things she could help me with and the reason why I seeked help.  We just talked about my anxiety issues, my panic attack, and how my personal life is. I didn’t really talk much about anything else at all (I don’t talk much). It was really a get-to-know-you (and your problems) session. I would say it all went pretty well. My next appointment is next Wednesday.

The one thing she wanted me to do was to write down anything that made me feel anxious at the moment. Since today was a pretty relaxed day, I didn’t really have anything to write down. However, now that I think about it….. 1) I hate being low on food. It makes me nervous and want to get more. Today, I noticed we only had 2 yogurts left which makes me anxious because I’m scared we are going to run out. 2) I’m terribly afraid of running out tampons. I’m terribly afraid of leaking. I buy and carry a lot with me because of this fear. 3) Talking to her made me really anxious because I had no idea what was going to happen. Although, everything went fine. 4) Today’s meal plan made me anxious because it wasn’t planned out to the fullest details. It makes me nervous and worried when I don’t know exactly what I am going to eat.

My fears/anxieties are pretty irrational but these are the things that I can think of that made me anxious and worried today. Might as well just write them on here, I know you guys won’t judge me!

One last note, I am currently watching a movie about eating disorders called Little Miss Perfect. Thanks to a lovely myproana user, the movie is on YouTube. So far, it’s pretty crappy. Super stereotypical and just bland. I’ll make a review tomorrow!

Here’s the link: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9BTyU6AX4rw

Well, that’s it. I’ll be going to bed as soon as I finish this movie.

Goodnight loves.

Love,

Liz

Image result for taking the first step

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3 thoughts on “I Finally Took the First Step

  1. Glad to hear your first appointment went well babe, they can be so intimidating going in to talk to some random about the most intimate things but after a while it can be really helpful getting things off your chest. I hope it all works out for you Xx

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Ugh. I hated Little Miss Perfect. As if all anas are sweet little privileged girls with good grades and cute boyfriends and huge houses. That’s just my 2 cents. I personally really hate it when people portray girls with EDs as broken little dolls, because it isn’t true. Maybe it is for the girls who are good enough at it to starve themselves to death, but not all of us. Everyone has their corner of hell, and ana/mia just so happens to be mine. Yep. That’s my rant-review about that movie.

    Liked by 1 person

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