I just wanted to write a quick journal post. Enjoy!
As I mentioned in my last post, last week was my first week back to school from winter break and it all went quite well. So far, I think I’ll enjoy my classes. They seem very interesting. The only real issue of concern is that it seems like I’ll be doing lots of writing which shouldn’t be a big deal since I actually enjoy writing.
This week has been going well too. I haven’t had any problems at all and I seem to be doing just fine. I’m not worried about classes or really anything at all. This is definitely a first for me in months. I actually feel relaxed. I’m not stressed out about anything. Of course, feeling relaxed makes me anxious because it means that I don’t have issues but that’s hard to believe. However, I’m doing quite fine. I feel fine. Which is why my counselor and I decided that I don’t really need to come in anymore.
My sessions were pretty short. I only went to a few sessions and they were good. The one thing I can say about counseling is that it really makes you realize all the things that you typically don’t realize in yourself. Some of these things are a bit awkward to talk about. Some odd anxieties that you may have are just things that stay in your head and are incredibly awkward to talk about because other people don’t understand them since they don’t feel them. Counseling helps you learn more about yourself.
Another thing I noticed is that I don’t need help. I can usually cure myself within time. At one point, I thought I did need a lot of help but now I realize that I’m actually really strong. I deal with things on my own. I make myself happy again within time. If something bad happens to me, I cry and cry for months. Then, I just make myself feel happy again. The memory eventually gets pushed to the back of my head and I don’t think about it anymore. I have the ability to cure myself when something is wrong.
While I don’t think my anxiety issues can ever go away, I can definitely control it. I’ve been controlling it all my life which is why I never ‘appeared to have a problem.’ There are just certain things that happen in my life that raise my level of anxiety, but after a while they go away, and I feel better again.
I’m glad that I’m fine again and I can return to my usual self. On a side note: I’m worried that now that I ‘feel fine,’ I’ll have nothing else to blog about lol. Something will come up, I know it. Until then, I’ll enjoy this sense of peace.