Story Time – Anxiety

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Hey loves,

Today, I wanted to share a short story I wrote. Enjoy!

First off, I know that I haven’t posted in the last couple of days and that’s because I’ve been super busy. I’ve had midterms, papers, and lots of work that I just haven’t had time to. I do want to apologize for that.

Secondly, I wanted to share some things in my life. Well, two things. The first is that the other day at work, I was super busy running back and forth from the kitchen to the host stand picking up takeout orders. It was super packed. I didn’t catch a break until later that night. All that hard work for a $5 tip. Hey, at least that guy tipped me, right? The other quick thing I wanted to share is that I’m totally in love with this one guy. I don’t know anything about him other that I’ve seen in at my university a couple of times and he’s so cute. I found out his name today but I want to know more about him lol.

Anyways, for this post, I wanted to share a short story I wrote for one of my classes and asked you guys what you all thought of it? Any feedback? Questions? Suggestions? Anything at all, please let me know. I wanted to be a little more creative for this blog post, so enjoy! Also, this is based on a true story that actually happened to me. Thanks for the feedback!

Love,

Liz

I Didn’t Get it

It was a chilly November day when the ‘incident’ occurred. I remember it all too well. No matter how hard I try to erase this memory, I simply can’t. It’s there, in my head, forever. Every time I remember, it’s like I’m reliving a nightmare.

I remember I was working on an assignment for one of my classes when I realized that I needed additional help. The material was completely new to me and I didn’t know how to get around it. I remember I had to use a camera for the first time and learn how to edit videos. It was something I’d never done before and I needed a good amount of help just to turn the camera on.

“I can just go to the professor’s office and he will help me,” I thought. This will also give me a chance to talk about the job position that I wanted to apply for. I really wanted that job. I remember working on the requirements for quite a while and frequently staying in contact with the man for an opening spot.

I marched down to his office, quite nervously. There was something about his personality that made me nervous. Not only was he my professor, but he was also in charge of the job I wanted. I obviously tried to make a good impression every time I saw him. I’m naturally an anxious person, but the circumstances put me in an extremely uncomfortable position.

With all these thoughts running through my head, I had forgotten that I had arrived at my destination.

“Oh, no, I’m here,” I thought. “Just relax and breathe, Liz.”

Shaking, I knocked on the door as the professor waved his arms, inviting me to come inside.

“Hello, how are you?” he said.

“I’m doing good, just need some help with this assignment,” I replied.

“Of course, let’s see what I can do to help.”

We sat in his office for quite awhile as he helped me with the assignment.

As he was speaking, all I could think about was asking him about the job. I didn’t know how to bring it up.

Once we finished discussing the assignment, I finally got the courage to ask him about the email I had sent to him regarding the job.

“I’ll look at right now,” he said.

“Okay,” I nervously replied.

After what seemed an eternity of him going through the email and looking through the work I sent in, he finally said, “Not too bad but…”

“It’s not what I’m looking for,” he said.

“What’s wrong with it?” I immediately asked.

He proceeded to list everything he believed was wrong with my work.

I couldn’t believe what was happening. I was so confused. I had worked so hard on this.

“I can tell that you’ve never done this before,” he said.

That sentence broke my heart. I had worked so hard on this and I thought I knew what I was doing. I’d been doing this since middle school. I had been doing this for seven years now.

I remember starting to change the conversation to something completely different. I couldn’t stand to hear him anymore. I wanted to cry. I remember I was shaking, I felt my heart beating faster and faster, and I couldn’t breathe. I didn’t know what was happening to me, but I felt like passing out.

“Liz, are you okay? What’s wrong? The professor replied.

I didn’t answer. I couldn’t.

All I could do was shake and try not to pass out.

“Are you crying?” he asked with a confused look on his face.

I tried to speak but all my words come out in cluttered chunks at an incredibly fast speed.

“Slow down, I can’t understand what you’re saying.” “Just focus on breathing, right now.” He continued.

“Liz, are you okay? Because I think you may be having a panic attack.”

All I wanted was to leave and run away. I didn’t want to be in that room. The room where my heart was crushed. The room where my dreams were broken.

I needed to leave. I ran out. I ran out as fast as I could. I wasn’t looking back.

Needless to say, I didn’t get the job that day.

Maybe I was too anxious. Maybe he was too tough. Maybe I wasn’t good enough. I don’t know what it was, but I know it’s something I wish I could delete out of my memory.

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