My Major Problem With A Feminist Idea

Hey loves,

Today, I am going to be taking a major risk with writing this but I am prepared. I will be talking to you about the one major problem I have with a key feminist ideology. Enjoy!

Before I begin, I am WARNING you that this will stir a lot of emotion in some people. I am going to say things that many people will hate me for and others will probably breathe a sigh of relief. Also, please note that I DO believe in feminism and agree with most feminist ideas (I have other little issues but I won’t address those here).  I am also not claiming that my opinion is right or that my experience is everyone’s experience. I can’t speak for all women or feminists but I can speak for myself. So here it goes……

Recently, I was reading reviews for some superhero movies when I came across a Deadpool movie review on behalf of a feminist. She made a list of things that made this movie a ‘good’ feminist movie including Vanessa’s character. This review inspired me to search for more feminist movie reviews for Deadpool which I found were overwhelming positive pointing to the same key ideas from the first article I read.

Now, I am not going to get into this movie because this is not what this post is about. So here is just the trailer of the film for those who are interested:  I have not seen this film and have no intentions of doing so, therefore, I can’t argue with the reviewers. But this is not what I am here for.

The issue I have with these reviews lies with Vanessa’s character. Vanessa is Wade/Deadpool’s love interest. She is a proud prostitute who is not afraid to have sex and to be sexual. Feminist reviewers claim that this makes her a ‘feminist’ role model and not a stereotypical damsel in distress (even though Deadpool has to come save her in the end just like a damsel in distress and her role in this film is simply to serve as his love interest).


This tends to be a common trend in feminist ideology today: a hot woman who wants and loves to have sex equals feminist role model. Feminists point to characters such Vanessa who always talk about sex to illustrate their idea of a strong feminist role model (although to me, Diana from Wonder Woman seems a heck of a lot more stronger).

I completely understand where feminists get this idea from. They believe that women are forced to be perfect little virgins who should have no sexual pleasures. They believe that this is how society sees women. So, how to combat this weak woman? By showing a sexy woman who loves to have lots of sex with lots of men without being judged. That’s another issue feminists see in societal expectations of women. They believe that women who do go beyond this virgin ideal are immediately degraded and called ‘whores’ and ‘sluts,’ they are essentially bad women. I completely understand what feminists believe but there are two major flaws with this theory (and yes, I’m going there).


1) This sexy woman who loves to have lots of sex with lots of men… isn’t this what men want? I don’t think that any heterosexual man out there would argue otherwise. They want this woman. This is their ideal woman. This is what they have pushed for in the media for so many years and now feminists are making it, wanting it to happen. Yet, feminists for years have fought against sexualized images of women in the media (I am one of those feminists). We have fought so hard not to be portrayed as merely sexual beings there only to be looked at by men. All of a sudden, that’s what women want now? They want to be these sex dolls simply to serve men because of what feminists would call ‘sexual liberation.’ You are doing the same exact thing that men want and what we have fought for so long against just because the woman ‘wants’ to? This makes zero sense to me. Women are still being labeled to nothing more than a sex object for men. Then, feminists turn around and argue that there is a rape culture and that women are reduced to nothing more than sexual objects there for men to have sex with and blame the media’s sexual objectification of women for this? Catch my drift? Makes no sense and it’s incredibly hypocritical.


2) Girls, please tell me when you were ever pressured to be a virgin and never have sex? I’m waiting. I don’t know what experiences feminists have had but I’ve never had this experience. I’ve experienced all the opposite actually. I guess you can call me that virgin girl that feminists hate because I am what they believe society wants me to be. However, I have felt an incredible amount of pressure to be the ideal sex kitten feminists want you to be. I have always felt so much pressure to be super sexy and love to have sex with lots of guys which is just not me or my moral code. I’ve talked to all my female friends and they’ve had the same problem. We have all felt so much pressure to have sex with as many boys as we can because this is what the ‘cool’ girls are doing. This is what boys want. We get enough pressure from boys already. Now, this is what feminist want too so now even women are pressuring us to super sexual beings. We have to be like Vanessa. Being ourselves and not wanting to have sex with lots of guys is bad. It is not feminist. We are betraying women if we do this. This idea that feminists are pushing down on us seems so opposite of this women’s empowerment movement they are trying to promote.


I think that feminists sometimes can have skewed beliefs on reality and certain issues. Not all feminists agree on the same things. Many feminists call characters such as Vanessa’s weak other powerful. Feminists don’t even agree with feminists. This just comes to show that feminism can absolutely be flawed.

I can finally breathe a heavy sigh of relief now that I have written this. I feel so much better talking about this issue even if it does cause major war comments or feelings. Please let me know what you think down below!


If you want to check out my other post on why we still need feminism today: click here. 



One thought on “My Major Problem With A Feminist Idea

  1. Yes! Especially as someone who’s ace (asexual) this really pisses me off. I totally agree that Diana from Wonder Woman is a much better feminist role model 😊

    Liked by 1 person

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