Personal Update · Uncategorized

Personal Update – “You Are Less Than”

Hi loves,

I just wanted to post a quick personal update/ rant.

I want to briefly (well not really) talk about a few things.

First, let’s talk about my diet and fitness. It’s been going pretty good. I’ve had some downs but overall I’ve been pretty good. I will be staring Alli next week so I have to be good. I will also be entering the Biggest Loser challenge at work to help me stay motivated and on track. The fact that I’ve been going to the gym all this time and eating well is the only positive thing that has me going.

Second, it’s been almost 2 weeks since I’ve deleted my Facebook and I have been off of it for good. It feels great. I thought that I might relapse like all the other times but I haven’t. This is the only positive thing that has me going.

Lastly, let’s talk about work. Work has been HORRIBLE. First, we’ve done nothing but testing and it’s been bad. With special education kids we have to test them one on one and I have to test all the Spanish kids. There are 7 Spanish kids and so far, I’ve given a total of 21 tests over the last 2 weeks. It’s been so horrible. The teachers I work with only have 5 English kids and two of them. But there is only one of me and 7 bilingual kids. In one day I tested 7 kids while one of the teachers didn’t even finish 3. The teachers I work are incredibly lazy and leave me to do all the work.

And on top of that, they have the nerve to be fucking bitches. Today, for example, one of the teachers asked me if I could test her two kindergarteners after my break and I said, “sure.” So after my break, I went up to our room and the other parapro went to go pick up the kids to take them to our room. As soon as I get to my room, the other teacher I work with asked me to go get her second grader to test him. So I’m like “what??!!” They want to use me at the same time. And meanwhile I went to go get the second grader the other parapro came in with the two kindergarteners and asked for me because the teacher had told her to take them up to test them. And the other teacher said, “well she’s testing my kid right now.” So they left.

It was horrible. These two teachers are the absolute fucking worse. On top of that, the teacher with the kindergarten kids went home as soon as she told the parapro to take the kids to test them and didn’t even tell me. Later, the other teacher had the nerve to tell me that I’m not allowed to be with the kids alone (lol.) Okay then, I won’t fucking test them. You do it yourself. They will leave me alone for up to an hour with a kid they don’t like and they leave us alone with kids during recess and lunch and then it’s okay?? So only when they need us. Fucking ridiculous! Plus, I have a Bachelors Degree. I CAN BE LEFT ALONE WITH KIDS!!! They only say shit like that to make sure I know I’m less than them. The funny thing is I went to same exact college as her lol.

I hate this whole “you’re less than me” mentality. I have to do double the work for a quarter of the pay and tolerate being treated like this. I fucking hate it. I try to make myself feel better but I can’t anymore. Everything seems to point to me being less than.